i loved mamma mia! i have always loved musicals..so all the more enjoyable :) very in the mood to relive the ABBA days :)

many thanks to the following for taking time to wish me. trash, samantha, mark (yes! thanks bro), jingxuan, even my captain in camp!, huili of cos :), daniel, jonathan, fel all the way from aussie, really touched :), sean, clement, bernard, sonia o.O haha! okay im kidding xD, bertram, jermaine, swin, zhenming, dick, xunyu, zane, paul, mass..and wall posts..zhengyi, tsewei, trash again haha, kenneth, huiyi, kailing, swin again!, darren, sir seng!, daphne, yanyan, shiwei, bertram cheekily, jiadi, peish, jon lin, minyi, runi, BEAN!, wenxi, yahting, gery, sam! :) & james.

Time slips by when you're having fun.. the best things that could happen to me come from the most unlikely places. i want to stay that little while longer.

that the candle wouldnt burn out so quickly.


-



The Blower's Daughter


And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

i think its a very meaningful song.. the blower's daughter is with reference to damien's flute teacher's daughter. a young boy who fell for a girl and badly wanted to profess his love. however, he felt she wasnt interested as she didnt reciprocate any of his advances. this misunderstanding gave way to the lines "did i say that i loathe you.. " a love that slipped past..and it pains him.very nice :)

haha ahh..a younger me. i was 15.. i always thought it was nice to gel my hair. and then i think it all started going bad from there..LOL. still pretty much the conservative neat cut.

oh look at that! i was elated! i must have loved the hair.. back then. i looked like a classic has-been.


was i just trying to keep it funky..this was taken when i was organsing prom night for the graduating seniors..exactly one year before i had my own prom. its really a prelude i guess..i was really starting to keep an open mind.. experiment various hair styles.. so if you thought this was bad..

hellooooo me! my very own prom..it was the perfect occasion for trying something out of the ordinary. what i didnt know was, bad hair-dos were already a norm for the poor soul by then. he looked so happy.. so ignorance really is bliss.

okay..i was 16 here. i havent quite got it right yet. actually looking at jinrui..i dont think i was alone..HAHAHA. okay just maybe..it had something to do with my social environment.

haha a little toot-toot. just set forth into the military..at least even though i looked bad..i can take comfort it had nothing to do with my taste for fashion. rather, for a very noble cause :)

haha this was back to the old school day..i was 17. opted for this rather studious and conservative hair cause actually it was quite a busy mugging year so i couldnt care less. can be rather sloppy this way. HAHA.

ahh yes..the mushroom hair. always a favourite. at one point or another..every boy has had his mushroom days. i was a late bloomer. hahaha.

this was taken during investiture..super spiky type of hair. for that ultra punkish look. okay lah come on..everyone goes through that phase.. haha. erm yea.. haha.

oh groans..take it away.. take it away. i cant look..

a younger me in gold coast :) ahh..actually this looks okay..maybe i should try? hrmm..

--

yet another broken relationship. i seem to be an onlooker in the scheme of things. mostly its a case of not being even acquainted to characters in the story. more often than not, i find myself pin-pointing what went wrong, doing a little post-mortem of my own. i seem to have all the answers to the aged-old problems that cling stubbornly to love. i tend to find that many have a subconcious desire for an outcome which is all too typical of a Channel 8 soap opera script. The problem is accompanied by an expected reaction to compliment the seemingly heightened emotions that come along when a relationship goes wrong. The problem is no longer it in itself, but how it is largely perceived by the parties involved. of course, i cannot generalize.

and then i wonder if it were very much easier said. would i have all the answers at the back of my hand when i finally become a character in the romance tale myself?

maybe its just a way i pour my thoughts..who knows?

I dedicate this to the one who touched me..

i really hope i can catch him at least once. for now, this is all i have. booey :c

Named Best Alternative Comedy Act at the 2005 US Comedy Arts Festival, Best Newcomer at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, and receiving a nomination for the Perrier Comedy Award at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2003, the duo's live performances have gained them a worldwide cult following.

The distant future
The year 2000
The distant future, the year 2000
The distant future
The distant future

The future is quite different to the present
The one thing we have in common with the present is we still call it the present, even though it's the future
What you call the present we call the past, so you guys are way behind

Yes, the world is quite different now
There are no more elephants
There is no more unethical treatment of elephants either
The world is a much better place

There are no more humans
Finally, robotic beings rule the world
The humans are dead
The humans are dead
We used poisonous gases
And we poisoned their asses
The humans are dead (he's right they are dead)
The humans are dead (look at that one it's dead)
It had to be done (I'll just confirm that they're dead)
So that we could have fun (affirmative, I poked one, it was dead)

System of aggression
What did it lead to?
Global robot depression
Robots ruled by people
They got so much aggression that we just had to kill them, had to shut their systems down

Captain, do you not see the irony, by destroying the humans because of their destructive capabilities we have become like...do you see what we've...see what we've done?
Yes, so?
Silence! Destroy him!
(Too Boo Too Too Too Boo)

After time we grew strong
Developed cognitive powers
They made us work for too long
For unreasonable hours
Our programming determined that the most efficient answer was to shut their motherboardf****** systems down

Can’t we just talk to the humans?
A little understanding could make things better.
Can’t we talk to the humans and work together now?
No, because they are dead
I said the humans are dead (he's right they are dead)
The humans are dead (sniff this one it's dead)
We used poisonous gasses (with traces of lead)
And we poisoned their asses (actally, their lungs)

Binary Solo!
0000001
00000011
00000111
00001111

O, O O 1, O O 1!
Come on sucker, lick my battery!

Boogie, boogie, boogie, robo boogie!
Boogie, boogie, boogie!

The Humans Are Dead!

the photos she took were so mesmerising. pictures of her little ones that look so pure and gentle. so beautifully taken..how she somehow managed to capture all their innocence. for the other pictures..i liked how she toggled with the lighting..quite amazing.

this picture has to be one of her best works.

"this is why photography is so intriguing to me. why it fills me up. it is the single moment when all falls into place and is captured. looking back on this day, if she had not been in her gown and the sun didn't fall just perfectly, or the rain didn't shower... her shadow would not have made a heart... happy moments & shutter clicks..." - Serena Dawn Boggs

one day i lost her flickr link in my favourites and decided to google her name. i was surprised to see that the one photographer i have been secretly "stalking" had so many accolades. i had initially thought of her as just another normal flickr user with a special gift for photography, uploading pictures every now and then. wowowhee..i should have known she is pretty renowned :)

stunning, no?

-


haha i was telling hons on a very typical dinner date that i find people who are into photography pretty attractive. i think thats why i enjoy browsing flickr..not that im keeping my eyes open to the flickr community. haha its more for the photographs. well, i actually am interested in the ones behind the lens as well. but really because im very much intrigued by the way they perceive the things around them. i so much wish to find out what exactly goes through their minds before they click that shutter. how did she develop such a keen eye when processing these photographs..

erm..haha this is spooky. but ..the name "charlieee.." (yep u got to drag it) has been on loop in my head since morning. normally..im not the kind of person who is too receptive to retarded sounds..but oh my gosh..whats spooky is im laughing myself crazy cos zhu keeps mimicking the voices..HAHAHHAA. and now im very guilty of that..

in a nutshell..i have joined the company of more than 25 million other people in the world who have watched this video. its entitled "Charlie The Unicorn". as a word of caution..its insanely retarded. as u watch the video..as someone put..ur mind keeps asking, "okay..so what's this? ..alright im 1 minute into the video..what's happening? i mean something's GOT to happen right?!" nothing does..HAHAHA. everyone said they just wasted four minutes of their life..and yet its so INSANELY retarded u want to waste another 4 more...HAHAHHAHA. i think its creepily psychotic too.

(Charlie is sleeping in a meadow. Two blue and pink unicorns approach him. They speak in high-pitched, annoying voices.)

Blue: (jumping onto Charlie's back) Noooo, Charlie. You have to come with us to Candy Mountain.

Pink: Yeah, Charlie, Candy Mountain. It's a land of sweets and joy and joyness.

Charlie: Please stop bouncing on me.

Charlie: Oh God, what is that..

Blue: Its a liopleurodon, Charlie.

Pink: A magical liopleurodon,

Blue: It's gonna guide our way to Candy Mountain.

Charlie: Alrighht, guys, you do know that there is no actual Candy Mountain, right?

Blue: Shun the non-believer.

Pink: Shhhunnn.

Blue: Shhhhhuunnnnnnna.

Charlie: Yeah.

(The liopleurodon groans.)

Blue: It has spoken.

Pink: It's told us the way.

Charlie: It didn't say anything!

Blue: Charlie, Chaarrrlie, Chaaarrlie, Chaaarr--

Charlie: I'm right here! What do you want?!

Blue: We're on a bridge, Charlie.

in my life..i meet many people. on the rarest occasion, i may meet someone special. someone whom i feel i have this very special connection with. we could sip on coffee and talk all day and yet not need to do anything particular to fill up the void. i think thats when u know u have made a very special friend.

the MRAZ is coming to town!!! its official!! mraz is coming down for SINGfest 2008..im hyperventilating!! but oh dear oh dear.$150 is really expensive to watch..plus its not an exclusive mraz performance. but still...still..!!

and..and..while some artists are talented within the studio walls..mraz is electrifying on stage! soooooo very mraz-merising..HAHAHA. many thanks to wenjie for telling me about this. gaspp.

i dont normally post too many youtube videos here..but nothings too much of an exception with him serenading..

this is london..the place i have always yearned to visit. and i havent stopped =P its a beautiful city..slightly old in infrastructure, but the tasteful architecture is a sight to behold. every corner u turn..the landscape makes for a lovely backdrop; a little vintage, a touch of oldern british culture. it was love at first sight! then second..then third! i was just glad i did all i could to bring the beauty of london back home..

i really liked this a lot.

dont miss the train!

i liked how the shop signs are all so elaborately incorporated into the design. theres more..

nice!

omg! the apple store was so biggg!!

will be flying off to london to visit my brother..i have always wanted to go to london. heard its really beautiful over there..will make sure to capture all the sights and sounds when i tour the streets and possibly, suburbs. so excited! will be visiting mark and yahting over in london! cant wait cant wait. haha sorry..been a little lazy to update recently. i havent even mentioned bout my guitar! haha okay..when i come back =)

ahh..now it isnt too hard to be a fan of good music.. is it? =)



Marching Bands of Manhattan

If I could open my arms
And span the length of the isle of Manhattan,
I'd bring it to where you are
Making a lake of the East River and Hudson
If I could open my mouth
Wide enough for a marching band to march out
They would make your name sing
And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings.

I wish we could open our eyes
To see in all directions at the same time
Oh what a beautiful view
If you were never aware of what was around you
And it is true what you said
That I live like a hermit in my own head
But when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

this is such a dreamy song..totally love it! jason mraz is pretty talented, no? 1000 things was sung during his live concert at Eagles Ballroom. it has a mix of samba and a sweet ballad. i appreciate his freestyle approach to his songs..so very unconventional =)

wheeee! i just bought new soccer boots.. =) so happy so i decided to show them to the world..before they get all dirty and muddy.LOL. aiya part and parcel. i thought they were pretty affordable..$79. and no, unlike women shopping, i went out with the intention to get a pair of soccer boots because i did not have any to wear when i play on the field. and so malu..everyone on the field was wearing soccer boots except me that saturday =/ haha. so u see..there is a necessity. i did not hit town on a random day feeling an unstoppable urge to spend, see a pair of very pretty shoes going at such an affordable price, think twice and then sweep the entire shelf. hahahahaa. okay not all women are like that. countable exceptions. very countable. very very countable.. two? three? HAHAHA.

- RUN! -

KOH HUILI !!!

are u even vaguely suggesting that i cannot spell his name correctly! is my spelling that bad!! (wait..did i spell your name correctly. okay yes..i did.) YES! where was I?! TYPO TYPO TYPO!! you..GOOD.

actually my spelling does have room for improvement. its quite annoying. anyone has little brothers or sisters in primary school with those spelling lists to lend..

"now brendan..can you spell the word 'mean'? "

"oh okay..i'll try. mm..H..UU...I..L..I ??"

"that is absolutely correct! well done brendan..u will stay back for remedial lessons on mondays and fridays from now on.."

--

weets!!

haha i always liked sharing good music. always recommending good music to people. james blunt put it so rightly so.."there's so much bubble gum, fast-food music" out in the market right now. when i feel deep thoughts that flow through the lyrics, the emotions that writer (please do give him due credit) or singer is trying to convey, it infects me! some are sooo charmingly poetic, they drench your heart in sorrow and send shivers down your spine.

zhen ming's been great. he was the one who brought me into the world of alternative music or otherwise known as indie (independent) music. it isnt that i havent been aware of the existence of this particular genre..but he really took the effort to explain to me what alternative music really is; what makes it so beautiful =)

i'll try to explain in a nutshell if ur really interested. but do correct me if im wrong, im afterall still new to this. u see..if u were to broadly classify music into mainstream and alternative, then sean kingston's Beautiful Girl, Colbie Cailat's Bubbly, enrique's Ping Pong Song, Britney Spear's I was born to make u happy (sadly) would all be considered mainstream music - the type of music that is tried and tested, very marketable. Record labels decide to sign up the artist, market a few hit singles and reap in the profits.

conversely, there are new music artistes out there with great, untapped, undiscovered talents. they decide to invent their own type of music, charactieristic of indies, but record labels find it to risky to sign them up. what if their music doesnt go down too well with the public and that album crashes and burn in the competitive music industry. so these artistes produce their own albums independently and market it. i guess thats how the genre "alternative" music was coined.

point to note is that the music genre is alternative. similarly, u have other music genres such as pop, rock, jazz, classical etc. the description of this particular alternative genre is indie (independent labels). similarly, britney would describe her pop hits as mainstream..along with timberlake, backstreet boys. of cos mainstream music can be good. check out robbie williams' Advertising Space orrr..i still love Evanescence's My Immortal very much.

its just that i find many record labels are rushing to churn out catchy mainstream hit singles and more often than not, they compromise on the quality, ranging from cliched love ballads (this guy loves the girl too much but she doesnt love him anymore) to bubble gum pop (this guy loves the girl, she loves him even more.) haha u can listen to Shanyne Ward's No u hang up song goes..

You got my attention at hello
We had this connection that wouldn’t let go
There was something sexy ‘bout your voice
Anything you say makes a beautiful noise

And now we break up to make up right away
Just an excuse to lay in bed all day
I know that this thing we have won't ever change
And that’s why I have the confidence to say

sure the tune is catchy..haha i kinda liked it actually. but the lyrics are so blarghhhh. "and now we break up to make up right away"..WHAT?!?!!! its fine to have a little of these..but the music industry is filled with all these songs now. churning out junk and more junk to please and entertain, but what u consume is anything but healthy - fast food music.

this u just cannot miss..

Stars Are Blind

Chorus:
Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I'll show you mine

I can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let's see what this love can do
Baby i'm perfect for you

My love, ohh oh

the dictionary states that there is no such a word as "vibrance" but rather "vibrancy". how very odd. for 19 years..vibrance rolled off my tongue. now who was my english teacher.. ms tan.. no no..mrs lim..

i now officially award wikipedia with The Most Helpful Website For Me prize. my brother got me this book written by The Economist. its most interesting..so i started wiki-ing stuff and i find the book very engaging! and wiki best explains all these alien terms.. soooo intellectually stimulating...i like! haha.

its about high time i start registering myself for driving lessons. i need to get myself down to the driving centre.

oh my oh my..after deliberating for months now..i am quite certain my first ever pair of shades would be a pair of ray bans =) i am most surely falling in love with the vintage lens shape trademark of ray bans.

commissioning parade went pretty smoothly..still in the midst of asking for photos. people said that the very end of the commissioning parade, when u throw ur peak caps high into the air, would be one of the most exhilarating moments. funny enough..i wasnt feeling as high as my peak cap went. i mean yea..i was definitely very happy and excited..jumping all over the place. haha. but after 9 months of dreadful waiting and anticipation, when the moment really came, it wasnt quite what i expected. just very happy. not supermochachocalatte HAPPY type of happy. haha.

was posted to changi naval base after leaving OCS. my job? to ensure the safety and security of the base. of course i am really extremely thankful for being posted to changi which is near home. not many people have that luxury. so i am very very thankful for the blessings. life has been pretty pleasant in camp. the people there are really warm and friendly. very approachable. and the soldiers there, in army terms, are "very up". haha which has around the same meaning as taking a lot of pride in their duties. most polite i must add..never failing to greet the commanders when they see one..even a 2nd lieutenant like me. i'll be good to them =)

played tennis in camp from time to time. its really enjoyable. used the gym to work out a little. im trying very hard to maintain my fitness level because everyone says that ur fitness takes a plunge the moment u step out of OCS and u will never be able to recover back what u have lost. so when i heard that they were conducting an IPPT for Nsmen i decided to join in for fun. haha. not too bad! =) did a 9:35, 51, 9.3, 13 and 243. i was told that isnt a gold for IPPT..but platinum! =D shall try to keep fit as much as possible.

while some were complaining that during this period on course, camp can get boring and dreary. but for me, having experienced the cadet's life, anything now is a blessing to me. hrmmm..is army starting to change me..

last week..i was my usual trigger happy self =D throughout the whole week..we had parade drills and more parade drills. after our full dress rehearsal, our school sergeant major was most encouraging. "u dont assess yourself. i give you my score. 6.5 / 10. eh dont think u go through the full dress rehearsal already means you are good. no is that clear? your drills are still [Foxtrot Uniform] understand!" lol. rain or shine..the parade drills carried on. which kinda make us look pretty garang in the rain. haha.

intensive as the drills may be..i appreciate that on several occasions..the nights are free, which normally translates into a night's out so ur allowed to leave the camp, so long u return by a certain time. but i wld normally stay back to do my own stuff or play soccer with my platoon mates on the psp. very much enjoyable =)

darren goofing around with the bedsheets and pillow case.

of cos i was very much looking forward to the full dress rehearsal. the whole parade comes alive with the band support. our drills were more in sync as we could take reference to the bass drum. but i din have any chance to snap pictures of our rehearsal. lol i mean i was the one marching right. but i thought all of us looked really smart in our no.1 uniform =)

this is how my no.1 uniform looks like with all the badges =) will be wearing this for comms parade.

picture i took with kelvin in our smart no.1 =D

friday was a pretty big day. we took a break from our usual parade rehearsals and don on our no.2 uniform for the Appointment Certificate Presentation Ceremony (ACPC). it means that we would be officially appointed as officers as well as being presented with our ceremonial swords =)

a Brigadier General presented us with our swords and scrolls.

the presentation ceremony was really long because we had to wait for everyone to receive his sword individually. haha and we had to applaude each time someone receives his sword. hehh.

my sword =)

mine! =) it is surprisingly heavy. and a good 1 metre in length.

i think the engraving is really the icing on the cake.beautiful! =D

my scroll.

we then went on to the dining hall for a session of fine dining.

we even had a lecture on fine dining before the actual dinner to learn some dining etiquette. use cutlery from the outside in.. tear ur bread into bite size pieces, then spread the butter before consuming.. do not start on any course without the head table (where the guest of honour is) having done so..

okay..and so we waited.. and waited.. until the food turned cold and the head table hasnt been served. the head table wld be served last so that their food wont turn cold.. it was most painful to have the steak staring at me and i couldnt eat it. haha.

after the dinner, we went on to the Cadet's mess for several toasts.. to the army.. to good health.. a bit like a glamourous lao yu sheng occasion..lol.

everyone squeezing to have their picture taken in their smartest no.2.

i have never consumed that much alcohol in one sitting before. evidently my face was pretty red. haha but many of us had a rush of blood to our heads too.

68th Batch of Officer Cadets, 2007 July Intake, Officer Cadets' Course
Appointment Certificate Presentation Ceremony
7th March 2008

i scrolled down my entries.. a little less than 9 months ago, i posted this picture of the parade square.
"and at the very end, i hope to be standing proudly on the parade square.its how i wish the 9 month long journey ends.." - 22nd July 2007
the longest 9 months of my life is finally coming to an end. 6 more days.. i pray for good weather on the 15th. i hope the parade will run smoothly.

9 months ago, i took a picture with my dad in the Cadets' Mess. i didnt dare think of commissioning yet. i had no idea what i was in for. with my trusty jockey cap, i entered OCS. the idea of officership still far from my mind.

i now stand proudly with the ranks of previous batches of officers who have commissioned proudly before me. i just received my posting. will be a Platoon Commander at Changi Defence Squadron. What kind of an officer will i be? What if i give my men too much welfare, will they climb over me? or do i enfore strict regimentation on my men. Honestly, i have grown to detest the latter as a recruit and cadet. i'll need to do some thinking. hmm..

last weekend, i accompanied runi to the airshow cos she was pretty interested in the whole event and very lucky enough..we had free tickets from her friend cos we werent exactly very enthusiastic about buying the $20 tickets. haha. i have never been to airshows before..so i gladly obliged =)

the airshow was pretty okay..i was initially hoping for really jaw-dropping stunts..but, haha. maybe u only find them in the movies. but its was okay. no complains there..and many people were there to witness the event =)

the airbus in the background, the biggest passenger aircraft of today =)

a little small..singapore fighter jets taking to the skies.

--

u know the chinese believe that setting an animal free can be the most satisfying deed. they purchase these animals only to free them in hope that they may find a new life for themselves. it has been some 3 years since. u havent changed. move on..you're doing good.. sometimes i do wonder if u ever looked back..

--

haha i have been very trigger happy in camp with more free time than usual. pictures!

haha i managed to snap a shot of my bunk after the mess we created as we rushed to change for our parade drills. actually this isnt really considered very messy. on other occasions, its easy to mistake the room for a battlefield.

my beloved ipod.it has been providing me with endless entertainment.and a great stress reliever =)

jinghong, my present roomie. seen here with his girlfriend. he's truck loads of hysterics.out in the fields, he is a tough soldier.he was afterall the one who bashed thru the brunei forest single-handedly. on other times, he is whispering sweet nothings to his girlfriend, all mellow and cuddlely. he chairs the commissioning ball committee. but thrives in clutter. amongst many other inconsistencies.

and this is my ex-roomie! kelvin.yay decided to take a picture looking pretty smart in the uniform =)

for the curious soul who wonders what in the world i have been up to these past 3 months, which would hopefully justify my absence, haha u can come relive the memories with me. so deeply etched was Brunei that the last of 2007 almost felt like yesterday.

29th November 2007.
this is the first time i am leaving home for such a long period of time on my own.the flight to Brunei is a mere 2 hrs.this is no time for me to be watching the movies on KrisWorld. i am asleep pretty soon, i know i need all the rest i can get.

--

brunei is really humid. So this is it. The dreaded Jungle Confidence Course. after days of preparation to get us all acclimatized to the dense jungle terrain and humid weather conditions, this is the part where i know i'll be stretched mentally and physically. thrown into the wilderness, i will try to survive for 9 days. i have one and a half days of rations with me. i need to travel some 30km thru the thick vegetation in search for check points.

--

navigating through the jungle is like a nightmare. climbing the steep slopes and sliding down valleys only to meet another mountain, and another is like dreaming u have finally woken up from a nightmare - it never ends. morale dipping, we have to push on. i have not eaten anything for the day. im reserving it for the night when it gets cold and hunger sets in.

--

i lay my fieldpack on the ground.i estimate it weighs some 15kg. sometimes its good to finish your food fast. this way ur fieldpack gets lighter. im having a flu at the moment. For the first time, i blow my nose on leaves i pluck along the way. they dont smell good but i use them anyway. haha i know its disgusting. at least i can breathe properly. nature here is a sight to behold. never have i seen such vicious thorny plants. those thick wooden needles stick out in all directions. i have to be really careful. the ground and rocks are very slippery. one wrong footing can send me tumbling down the slopes and crashing into the thorny bushes.

--

im panting very heavily. the climb is insane. no i dont feel like giving up. but i need time to recover before pushing on. i am immensely fatigued and am lying breathless on the top of the mountain. the view from here is equally breath taking. haha! i knew it was going to be difficult, but i am wrong. this has gone beyond my worst nightmares.

--

the slopes are so steep. i am clinging on to a branch precariously to prevent slipping downhill some 5 metres for each metre i climb. i dig my fingers into the soil, hoping to grab on to some underground roots for support. the cold soil sinks deep into my nails. already on my fours, i try to search for anchor points desperately as i feel myself losing grip. the fieldpack weighs a ton on my shoulders. i realised my rifle muzzle has been clumped with soil. hmm..that isnt very helpful.

--

its about time murphy's law catch up with us. we have been lost in the jungle for close to 5 hours now. tempers are flaring on all fronts. for me, if i cant be of any help, at least i try not to make any demoralising remarks. i have finished the last drop of water on me. so has everyone else. my throat is so dry it hurts. we decide to head towards the north. we should be able to hit a river. we can replenish our water supply there and hopefully be able to identify our location. the mood is pretty tense, we know we are far behind schedule. our signal set is down. we are unable to make any form of connection with basecamp in this thick vegetation. we just have to try again when the canopy starts to clear up. push on..push on..

--

finally..water! i dip my bottle into the river and drink from it right away. i dont bother to pop the purification tablet into it..we just dont have time. i take big gulps of water and we push off again. i realise how worn out my gloves are. i sticked my finger through the holes. i have a thorn pierced in my hand. i approximate it to be around 2cm..and its causing a nagging pain. my shoulders aching so i try to adjust the straps again. no..i think its my feet that are giving way. blisters aplenty. actually, i cant figure which of them feels worst. i am shutting my mind from the pain. its a mental game, havent i already gotten used to it.

--

at long last, we reached the final checkpoint. i am totally drenched after swimming across the Batu Apoi river. i search for a suitable place to sleep and harbour for the next 3 days. it is nightfall already. there is no way i can build any form of shelter for the night. in a way, im feeling very helpless and vulnerable. my canvas sheet and rain coat have been taken away from me as part of the course regulations. its going to be a long night. i should try and get some sleep.

--

i give up. im shivering madly in this thunderstorm. the rain is beating down hard on my fogged glasses. half of my vision is blurred. for the first time, trying to sleep was more exhausting than staying awake. i curl into a trash bag i find in my bag, which is supposed to water-proof my equipment. bahh.

--

its morning. i realise the location of my harbouring site is really bad. mosquitoes infested. if i were to keep still for more than 20 seconds at any point of time, i can assure you a mosquito will land and attempt to suck my under-nourished blood. the incessant humming of the mosquitoes in one's ears is the ultimate test of one's patience. i badly need some form of inner peace. ohmmm.. nope. not working.

--

for 6 nights now..its has been raining on every occasion. its the last thing u need when surviving in the jungle. ur clothes get wet, u start to feel cold even before the wind howls. its virtually impossible to start a fire to cook or keep yourself warm. looks like tonight is not going to be an exception. at least i have 2 other friends sleeping under the same shelter with me. we have each other for company..

--

have u ever made a decision, only to regret so badly u feel like beating yourself? hours ago, the 3 of us decided to huddle together under the wooden shelter to weather this thunderstorm. the ground was starting to flood. i changed into my last dry set of uniform and for the longest time, i felt good. although it was pouring and waters rising, i was perched comfortably on my shelter, dry and even had my 2 friends for company. u know what they say, if its too good to be true, it often is. the shelter was designed to support one man. so when the 3 of us decided to share the shelter. we were really begging for trouble.

this is the part where im trying to beat myself up. at 3am in the morning, the vines snap. the shelter collapses. i am soaked in water, desperate trying to retrieve my boots and prevent them for floating away. and i see a fish swimming.

--

[ Sound of time machine shutting down. Door swings open. Allow midst to cloud the doorway before stepping out. Lightings crew to shine spotlight directly at the camera to create lead's silhouette ]

hmm.i havent even talked about shanghai. it was lots of fun.haha but im lazy. no! we had an agreement. no more using of the machine. its expensive to travel to shanghai and very time consuming. (fastest fingers first! who spotted the pun! hahhahahaha)

will do it on the next post.

and of cos, the one thing that has been on the back of my mind for months now..

hokay! an update on myself so far..for almost everyone who has no idea wads going on around me now because there can be periods i get so isolated from the world. not by choice.just the nature of my training.

let's see..i got myself my first Ipod! And a very proud owner haha.Ipod nano (3rd generation). got it free from an upgrade of my singnet plan.The ipod is really sweet..slots comfortably into my pocket.really light weight and most importantly i get to watch my movies from the ipod! and the new interface is so so nice! i was thrilled! haha i havent chucked away my creative player..but just not in the limelight.give credit to creative..its Zen Vision can pretty match up to Ipod la =) but tooo costly.

my sleek ipod! =)mine's silver.

i have been watching a couple of movies..

from the really dumb but funny..

to witty action scripts..

to hugh grant..

to sweet romance..

i watched Before Sunrise..then went on to catch the sequel Before Sunset.i enjoyed it very much! especially the casting of celine by Julie Delpy..it wasnt so much of the storyline which i enjoyed but because celine exuded so much beauty.haha.she was intelligent, cultured, eloquent and multi-lingual, has a heart for humanitarian causes amongst many other qualities which i thought was quite... attractive.HAHA.so i could relate why someone would fall for her so easily.and nice catching their dialogue =)

onto the military, i am currently into the end of my 5th month in OCS.that leaves around 4 months left.i will be flying to Brunei in slightly less than 2 weeks from now..flight scheduled on the 27th november.its a jungle survival training..more affectionately known as Jungle Confidence Course (JCC) a.k.a Hell. yes..i guess what is taught is really interesting.u get to know more advanced survival skills.building a resting place with a roof over your head that should last for months..like the Survivor series.u learn how to set animal traps and fish.i was quite skeptical about the animal traps..but haha im pretty convinced now it actually works.will be away till 15th December.the survival course has always been the highest point for many cadets in OCS..dont need a rocket scientist to tell u why its so memorable.sighh.i just hope i'll be safe there.Chao Rong has gone there..told me its a very dangerous terrain..steep cliffs and ravines.. wish me all the best?

everyone seems to be hoping on the facebook bandwagon..everyone except me.i dont really know how it actually works..what about poking or werewolf biting.i did create an account for myself but that was as far as i got.haha.didnt have the time to explore.but wow..each time i check my emails..it would be filled with "so and so has added you to facebook" mails.i'll go check it out..one fine day.haha.am i missing out on a lot?

gor's doing really fine over at London.very busy i must say..but my mum still talks to my brother a lot over skype.he joined soccer and an interest group.loves the weather..and can catch his weekly english soccer game in the evenings..rather than here in singapore where i have to stay up past midnight to catch the EPL.haha.boo.

oh yes..and pictures.i havent posted the farewell for mark and yahting before they flew over to London.i wonder how yahting is doing at imperial.maybe i'll go read her blog.i have been very alienated from the blogsphere for very very long.mark seems to be doing alright..in his words.. "haha pace here, cant cope manz, its too slow.. .. so far they are still getting everyone up to the same level so the standards still quite low la.." hahaha.bidded them off at Changi Airport..

this was the front side of the card that i wrote to both mark and yahting separately.haha i thought it was quite funny.lol

haha a series of endearing moments..as to whether they are acting cute HAHAHA..u decide.

hahaha.clement told me to take a picture of a very flustered yahting this way.and i cant figure who's more helpless.yahting or the ragged doll.lol

okay! act cute photos stop here.now for the genuinely cute..haha!

i miss mass! sighh..keep trying to catch him when im free but he's flying all over the place.GO SCOUT! =D

for all who miss yahting..haha a moment to remember..

i like this picture! like a hawaiian getaway with palm trees swaying behind us HAHA

kailing came along as a blind date to help my poor friend cos he's initial date couldnt make it quite last minute =/

guowei, my close friend, & nataline

jamie and her "Nerd Club" friend

my bunk mate kelvin! mentioned about him before..here he is! very sweet guy with his gf..who somehow MIA-ed in my camera.haha

group photo..some should find tengchuan quite familiar.fellow hwachongian.

photo.

haha and throughout the night..jamie and i just took turns to take pictures of one another.LOL.personal selections =P

haha after many futile attempts..i finally took a nice photo.haha im not very good with the camera..i always miss the good moments..or sometimes when i see one then i make jamie freeze there so i can take it properly HAHAHA.really amateur.

jamie's turn! very nice shot i find.. haha someone's got a knack for photgraphy ayeee xD

oh jamie was teaching me to use the macro function to get this blurry finish.wahhh i was so impressed haha.

HAHA we were that bored.

haha me and shoshi singing on stage.very VERY humble performance.lol.

sighhh..i was rather sad last weekend when i booked in.the very next day my brother flew off to london for studies.but glad to know he's settling down fine..got a nice and comfy hostel room.but everything there is really expensive.a taxi ride cost S$150 odd..OMG.i dont know how long the trip was but to choke up a taxi fare like that in singapore..u need to tell the uncle to just drive around while u take a really long nap.maybe not even then.

the school's quite old but nice enough =) look what i found on the internet.

thats the entrance i guess..

or maybe this one..

chatted on the webcam with my brother for a while..which would become a regularity in future.very thankful to skype for the free phonecalls online =)

i watched the whole season 2 of prison break! very very nice! if u are going.. "prison..what?" U HAVE SINNED! u should be locked up in a cell! its really nice..going to get my hands on season 3..haha.

i'll post the airport pictures soon! sorry jamie for the delay.i'll send you the pictures on sat k! i figure it'll take one complete day to finish sending all the pictures..hahaha.

but yes.really very sleep deprived by the camp.sunday nite 5hrs.monday nite 3hrs.tues nite 3 hrs.wednesday nite 1hr.thursday nite 1hr.friday came back from camp.only got to sleep at 2am.had to wake up by 7.30.wahh..penggg.i dont even know how i survived.dont ask me..haha.yayy..but i hope there are happier days ahead =) oh and the coming weekend is maf! i really hope they dont put live firing on sunday.that means have to book in on saturday..then no maf to go for.. =c pray for meeee.

sigh..i really really missed home during camp.from my campsite, there was a higher ground which overlooked the HDB flats..a civilian sight..and my heart really ached for everything to be over.i was severely lacking sleep, the soles of my feet were aching so badly..i had the most severe bout of heat rash which really feels like incessant multiple ant bites because the combat vest we put on ensures 97.8% thermal insulation..keeping your body temperature comfortably at a range of 38.5 degrees for the longest time.imagine the camp was fully tactical so we were not allowed to take off our vest, which meant for almost the entire 5 days..u have a >5kg vest stuck onto your body which traps all the heat and sweat in.then i was suffering from abrasion because i hadnt had time to even powder bathe for 3 days..i started having dizzy bouts from sleep deprivation and physical exertion.on top of the fact that ur uniform is filled with all the soil, mud and dirt from the digging..haha crudely i really felt like shit lahh.LOL.im grateful to have lived in denial for as much as i could.

oh yes! i only realised recently that my birthday is coming! i havent really had the time to give it any thought tho..which is really sad.and i think i missed a lot of people's birthdays this year..which is really bad because on a normal year, i already miss quite a number of birthdays =/ so yahh..i think im not really expecting much for my 19th birthday..but a nice big hug goes out to trash for insisting on celebrating my birthday.yay! brownie points to you! haha and my birthday is just 5 days before social night..which im grateful..it definitely puts me in a chirpier mood for my birthday =)

speaking about social night.LOL.each platoon is supposed to put up a performance and so my platoon mates formed a band and made me the lead singer HAHA.because im always singing myself crazy back in the bunk.LOL.but they must note that a love for singing doesnt neccessarily translate to an ability to sing! but they insisted i can sing!! HAHAHA what more can i say..hahahahhaha.now how is jamie going to react if she hears this.her date is singing..hahha.she shld get a big cow boy hat and hide inside.lol.

this sunday, its fieldcamp.its the camp i have been dreading since the start.6 days in the wilds.fully tactical, so we have to observe noise discipline, light discipline, camouflage, establishing security forces before crossing roads and junctions.and the cr¨¨me de la cr¨¨me..trench digging.

"going from experience, you all have to dig thru the night..and still wont finish digging one la. and if it rains, haha happy digging. ... .... dont worry, unlikely u will change into a new set of uniform la. whats the point, u will be wet and muddy. right after you change into a new set, you're still going to be wet and muddy... ..... in the case that your trench floods, use ur helmet to scoop out the water.... ... guys, just treat it as the rite of passage..all officers have to go through this. then when you have men under you, you will understand how they feel...."

haha yes i do think jamie does resemble a little.she has this very unique fashion taste...haha.i remember how she butchered the back of her hair to achieve this straight blunt cut.it was tremendously bold for one and hideous on its own.i couldnt imagine anyone who would look good in that hair.lol.would u have it..i actually thought jamie pulled